2001 Demented Breakfast Cereal Treats
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2001 Grand Prize Winner:
Alien Cereal Abduction
by Sharman and Erin
By Sharman Armstong and Erin Culley-LaChapelle
It was a fine clear night in January. Nobody could imagine the
horrors that lay ahead. Andy was aboard Seven Bells engaging in
birthday festivities on his way to his party ashore. He had been
complaining of seeing strange yet beautiful lights. The party continued at even more frenetic pace.
The raucous
bacchanal unwittingly attracted the attention of
non-terrestrial onlookers from above.
The curiosity of those overhead was piqued when a large pink
saucer-like object was carried on deck. This curiosity quickly
turned to alarm, as this saucer was set "ablaze" (how else
could you describe so many flaming candles atop such a petite
gateau?). The onlookers went into standby alert; it looked like
trouble down there, but they would wait for a sign, a cry for help,
before interfering. They were soon to receive it. Suddenly as the
blazing gateau was placed before Andy, a strange, disharmonious, yet
powerful caterwauling erupted. The onlookers recognized this atonal
howling as the distinct cry for help of the residents of the planet
Epticon. What in the universe Epticonians were doing on planet
Earth, the onlookers couldn’t imagine. Nonetheless, they required
rescuing, along with all those nicely wrapped packages.
The onlookers fired up their Super Schlookerbeam and turned it on
to maximum suction. Up, up, up went the presents, the
refreshments, and the revelers. Andy made a last ditch effort to
save himself and the Seven Bells from certain abduction by revving
the diesels up to super turbo speed (of course that existed in those 1929
models) and beached her safely ashore, narrowly missing two camping
nudists (who quickly headed for the hills upon hearing Andy’s
hysterical rambling about "beam me up Scotty" type
shenanigans).
And so this is how it comes to be that Andy is with us now. A
word to the wise: if he starts gabbling about those pretty lights
(or nudism) again…
RUN!! |


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Persistence of Memory - Daliesque Cerealism - 2nd Place Winner
by Otts -- This piece was constructed in the fluid (but never soggy) tradition
of scrumptious cerealism. The inviolable Cheerio forms the bulk of the
sculpture, echoing the circularity of time and cereal bowls.
Self-devouring, frosty uroboros, the Cheerio denies consumption of its
sugary perfection, mocking us with its blithe British salutation.
Employing the Paranoid Critical Method, the viewer may begin to see a
multiplicity of images contained within its artificially sweetened face:
the irrelevance of tie, a confined world and the self-consuming,
transitory nature of human existence, or perhaps the dangers of leaving
one’s cereal in milk for too long. These disturbing visions are
bounded by the golden charm of the Sugar Corn Pop, wheeling steadfastly
around the watch face; bringing us back to a crunchier reality. |
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Ice Crispy Man - 3rd Place Winner
by Phil -- Over 5,000 years ago, this unfortunate Neolithic citizen
of cerealism met his demise in a blizzard of yore high atop an Alpine
mountain near the Swiss town of Schwarzenberg. His body was subsequently
buried and trapped within the ice until recently discovered by two
French paleontologists named Schwonz and Ponz while on a tulip-gathering
expedition. |
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Cinnamon Bells - Honorable Mention
by Lori and John -- Trapped in time, somehow constructed so as to fit
inside a milk bottle, floating in a sea of milk, a precisely rendered,
built-to-scale, all-cereal model of the classic 1929 bridge deck cruiser
Seven Bells,
originally designed and built by Stephens Brothers of Stockton,
CA. |
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